Marriage

There is an old American Indian tale that says: 

 A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed.

Marriage can be a lot like those two wolves.  The evil wolf may represent a relationship that simply exists, two married people who simply co-exist at best.  There is little friendship or passion in their marriage.  The good wolf could represent a marriage between two people who genuinely love each other and love to be around one another. They play and work as a team.  Which marriage will you have?  As the wise grandfather said...the one you feed.

How do you feed a marriage to encourage love and friendship?  President Uchtdorf said it best when he said "In family relationships Love is spelled T-I-M-E".  I believe where we put our time is where our heart is.  In order to maintain a strong healthy relationship with our spouse we mush spend time with them.  One on one quality time.

When life is busy it can sometime be very difficult to find time.  Often times you will not be able to simply "find" time to be with your spouse you must "make" time.  As unromantic as this may sound scheduling time to be with your spouse may be the only way you are able to manage a few minutes together.  Creativity can also be a key element to spending time together.

For Charles and I, with 12 busy children in our family, finding time to be together is very difficult.  He has to be up by 3am so he's in bed early, I stay up late with the older kids helping with homework.  Every single evening is filled with something kid related.  We have started fitting in small 30 minute dates here and there whenever we can.  We also try to simply watch a movie or play a game upstairs in our room when the little kids are asleep and the big kids are out with friends.  This allows us to still be home with the kids, but to also be able to be together doing more than just household chores.  Our relationship has remained strong partly because we are choosing to feed the "good" wolf.