Things I want to remember...

Maybe it's because she had plenty of experience before I came along, I am married to son number 8, but my mother-in-law did an amazing job of making me feel included, wanted and a part of the family when I married Charles.  She allowed us to make our own decisions and become a couple, while still holding family activities and respecting my families activities.  I hope to make my sons and daughters in law feel just as happy to be joining our family as she made me feel.

Advise given from the book "Helping and Healing our Families. Principles and Practices inspired by The Family: A Proclamation to the World"regarding parenting adult children that I want to remember when my children are adults, the time is unfortunately coming much faster than I would like.

1. Don't pressure my children to be at every family gathering, even though they will be missed.

2. Listen to children, but don't impose opinions or feelings.

3. Don't be intrusive physically by too many visits and phone calls or emotionally by too many strongly held opinions.

4. Allow and encourage my children to receive revelation for themselves, this will help them have a greater dependence on their Heavenly Father.

5. Create a climate of safety where children feel ok expressing their feelings and desires to how involved they want to be with the family.

6. Accept differences.  Your children-in-laws will not be just like you.  Accept their individuality. These differences are something to look forward to because of its potential for creating growth in family members.

7. Find ways to personally build relationships with my children-in-laws individually.  Communication is key to building those relationships.

8. Don't consider my children's in-laws as competition on who they prefer.  Rather think of them as an additional set of protectors who can provide help and support.

The Thomas Family